Shrine of the Talking Monkey Honors Ukrainian Officials

After the Ukrainian Parliament approved an extension of the lease on a Russian Naval Base in Crimea, lawmakers in the parliament chamber promptly dispensed with trivialities and pretense and did the only rational thing they could: They hurled smoke bombs and eggs at the speaker.

The Shrine of the Talking Monkey would like to honor these brave individuals. Their act of heroism and courage represents a great deal more than the Ukrainian opposition's displeasure with another 25 years of Russian occupation: It shows that they are willing to put aside fear of judgment from the rest of the world, and stand up for what they believe in. And unlike those crazy Shiite Militia Monkeys in Iraq, they decided to use a non-violent form of civil disobedience. Hearkening back to their days in the Ukraine Intermediary School, these officials lashed out in true sophomoric fashion.

Unfortunately, the lame Ukrainian Secret Service Monkeys had egg-proof umbrellas on hand to protect the cowardly, non-practical-joke-brandishing speaker from any unsanitary and potentially suit-ruining harm. Regardless, when the smoke cleared in that chamber, the message was clear: The Ukrainian opposition will not stand idly by while their country is oppressed by foreign occupation. According to anonymous sources working for the Shrine, Ukrainian opposition leaders are currently stockpiling cherry bombs, whoopee cushions, bottle rockets, and those hand shaking buzzer thingies. Indeed, my friends, this is far from over.

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