Coming To Terms...

If you're new to the shrine, I suggest you check out the lists and links on the right of the page under "Educated Monkeys." Don't worry. We'll get through this, together.

(Monkey Disclaimer: I know that homosapiens are technically "apes" as is the hilarious chimp featured in the above photograph, and I know that apes and monkeys are different... but "Shrine of the Talking Apes" just doesn't sound as good, does it?)

Monday, April 26, 2010

The Twelve Steps of Monkey Recovery

1. We admitted that we were a bunch of talking monkeys--that our so-called "human" lives were entombed by a litany of pretentious rituals.

2.  Came to believe that a new and more humble outlook, coupled with a thorough re-education could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to stop pretending to be anything other than a bunch of talking monkeys, and to turn our will and our lives over to The Shrine of the Talking Monkey

4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to The Shrine of the Talking Monkey, to ourselves and to another monkey the exact nature of our wrongs. No pun intended.

6. Were entirely ready to stop acting like we're God's gift to the Earth.

7. Humbly asked The Shrine of the Talking Monkey to remove our so-called "human" characteristics.

8. Made a list of all the monkeys we had harmed, and became willing to make monkey amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such monkeys wherever possible, except when to do so would harm them or others.

10. Continued to take monkey inventory, and when we started thinking we were more than just a bunch of talking monkeys, promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through surfing the web and meditation to improve our conscious contact with The Shrine of the Talking Monkey, praying only for knowledge of the Shrine's will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry the monkey message to other monkeys who are confused about their true nature, and to practice these monkey principles in all our affairs.

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