Monkey Scientists Calculate How Big The Ocean Is

May 19 - According to monkey scientists, the depth and volume of the world's oceans have finally been calculated. Their consesus:  The ocean is really fucking big.

Although most monkeys probably already had that one figured out, it couldn't hurt to spend hundreds of millions of monkey dollars on this, or to have hundreds of pages of ridiculous numbers, gathered over hundreds of monkey-hours, laying around collecting dust in the basement of some university somewhere. Perhaps I'm being cynical. It can't hurt to have precise figures on how quickly we're killing our planet. I mean, shit, our grandchildren need to be pissed off and informed, right?

Monkey intelligence hard at work. Good job, monkeys!